Rylan’s Journey Home

Around December 2004 when cameron was 1 1/2 we decided to adopt again.  We knew that it would take awhile (little did we know it would be this long!), so we decided to get our paperwork started.  We had our homestudy done, did our medical checkup, renewed our foster care license, and completed all the other requirements.  We were all ready and available for the picking!  We were planning on doing a domestic adoption again, like Cameron’s.  We basically wrote a letter with a small picture of us attached to it and sent it to the agency.  They put it in “the book”.  We pretty much sit in “the book” until a birth mom chose us.  Then we would meet her and make preparations for the baby’s birth and placement.  Sounds somewhat easy, doesn’t it!?  There is a lot that can go wrong!  Cameron’s adoption was proof of that.  It was nearly a worst case scenario, that only by the grace of God, was turned around somehow. 

So by now we are ready to put in “the book” this is June 2005.  We are excited, and nervous.  Cameron was such an angel at that age.  Easy and carefree.  Well, a year of waiting went by and nothing.  We heard we had been checked out a few times, but nothing serious.  By this point, Cameron was not so much of an angel anymore.  Let’s just say his halo was getting a bit bent.  He was 2 1/2 and I began wondering if I could even parent 2 kids!  Well, not much to worry about since nothing on the 2nd adoption was happening anyway.  By now, it is June 2006.  At this point I began getting more involved with other activities.  I was selling Ebay to make extra money to pay for the adoption.  I was on the Adoption Advisory Board that our adoption agency was putting together.  We were doing fundraisers to promote adoption.  I was also volunteering for Birthright (crisis pregnancy center).  I started to talk with more families about international adoption.  Because nothing was happening for us, and placements with new born babies were low, we started to wonder…  Could we do an international adoption?  It is much more expensive… could we afford it?  How would the two kids feel?  We met Cameron’s birth family, would the new baby feel cheated?  Would this be fair?  We started exploring the idea and the more we started thinking about it, the more we were convinced that this might be the way to go.

So, August 2006 I start talking to our homestudy agency about switching from the domestic program to the international program.  They give the names of some websites that photo list children.  These sites actually show children waiting for homes.  I started surfing and looking around, but continually kept coming back to the picture of a baby boy.  He was born July 15, 2007.  He reminded me so much of Cameron at first glance.  Yes, I had a choice at this point on whether to adopt a boy or girl… most were surprised I didn’t choose a girl.  Something drew me to this child.  I inquired with the agency and obtained information on him.  Not much information, but the basics.  After talking very seriously about it, we decided to go for it!  I had checked references on the agency, the Better Business Bureau, and even talked with another family from the area that had adopted through them.  We signed the contract and wired them a partial payment.  That was it.  Laying in bed that night John said to me “I guess were officially the parents of two!”  For some reason, I will never forget… That was the night of October 20th, 2006.

We spent a couple months getting all our paperwork ready for this new adoption.  We had to revise our homestudy, get new medical checkups, do loads and loads of paperwork, we had to get fingerprinted by the local county police dept, we had to go to Mpls to get fingerprinted for the INS, we had fingerprints sent to the FBI, and I mean there is not anything the government does not know about us now!  Finally after a lot of stress and an unbelievable amount of paperwork, our “dossier” as they call it was ready.  The adoption could move forward.  This was now Jan 2007.  Around that time is when I found out about our agency.  Very bad news, and how did I find out?  Oh yeah, they were mentioned on the Montel Williams show!  I about had a heart attack.  If it was on Montel, it wasn’t good.  I flew into a panic and found out the story of a family who gave our agency money, but never got a child.  I didn’t have a good feeling about this.  Our very “professional” agency wrote all the families a letter basically telling all of us that we could “thank” this other family.  Because of them much time and money would have to be invested in a lawsuit.  Yup, the  family on the Montel show was suing them.  We were told that because of this family time that normally would be spent on OUR adoptions would not be spent on the lawsuit…what?  Again, not a good feeling.  We held tight.  We didn’t know what was true or not.  Spring rolls around and it is April 2007.  At this point I had asked, and asked, and asked again what was going on with our adoption.  I was told many things were done (which I came to find out they were not).  April of 2007 brought a raid on our agency directors.  Not only was there one family suing them, there were now 7 families.  The raid had nothing to do with these lawsuits though…this was the State of Michigan going after them!  Everything was taken and seized.  Computers, files, bank accounts, you name it.  We were in those files!  I panicked and did what any mom would do, decided to fight fire with fire.  I won’t go into all those details, but let’s just say I was able to establish exactly where our case was, or wasn’t.  From Jan-April when I verified where we were only our Power of Attorney had been filed and our case submitted to Family Court.  Basically nothing was done!  Most families in this amount of time have their Family Court Interviews done, DNA Test done, and are waiting for those approvals to come back to move to the next step of finalizing the adoption!  I was so angry.  Nearly 3 months wasted.  I searched and didn’t give up until I found the name of the attorney our agency works with in Guatemala.  I nervously contacted him and asked if he would work direct with us.  He replied back 3 long days later, yes.  He faxed me DNA Authorization and I was SO happy!  He told me the family court interviews were being done too.  Seemed like things were on track.  So on 5/4/07 the interviews took place for court, on 5/17 the DNA was done.  I thought the hard part was over.  I visited on 5/17-5/23, and it was wonderful!  Now all we had to do was sit back and wait for pre-approvals.  They were currently not taking the 15-30 days they once were, but 60-70 days.  Go figure, our luck!  So finally on 7/21/07 we got PRE-APPROVAL!  Rejoice!!!!!  I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown waiting for that.  You have to understand that during this time we were told our adoptions may not go forward.  That because of our agency was under investigation and had said some really stupid things to an undercover camera, our cases had been “red-flagged” and may be considered illegal.  So this pre-approval was such a relief!
Now, after all this waiting, and waiting, and crying, and waiting, we sit with NO progress these past two months.  All the other families that got pre-approval on 7/21 the same time as us, were almost immediately submitted to PGN (final court).  These families are now preparing to exit soon, and will be picking up there kids in the next few weeks.  Us, well, we are dreaming of that day yet.
We haven’t been submitted for a couple reasons.  The first was an error found on the family court report that had to be fixed.  Then the day that they were going to submit us once that was fixed, they found and error on birth moms Cedula (id card).  Now we are waiting for them to get the correction to last.  We were told it would happen last week, now we’ve been told today or tomorrow.
I figure in all we’ve had about 5-6 months of wasted time.  Time that has been missed with our son.  Time we will never get back.  It is so disheartening.  I however have learned to live with it, and to just continue fighting to see this through to the end.
So here we are 9/27/07.  Not only have we had to fight our way through this with paperwork, our agency, our attorney, and everyone else….we are now facing an even more challenging fight.  Our own United States Government and the Government of Guatemala.
The US has been imposing more and more regulations on adoptions from Guatemala.  Our country has been telling Guatemala that they need to become compliant with the laws of the Hague Treaty that was signed in 2003 to better protect the integrity of adoptions.  So, ok.  Guatemala has been working to make sure that happens.  The sad part is the current president does not support adoption.  Some of the legislation he want to pass will most certainly stop future adoptions.  That is fight #1.  The US and other country’s want Guatemala to keep their adoption programs open.  What will happen?  I don’t know.
The bitter sweet part of all this is OUR case.  We are considered in progress.  We had been told with 5000 other families that our adoptions would be “grandfathered” in under the current laws and allowed to finish.  Well, the big ole’ United States of America is shaking its finger at Guatemala for not being Hague Compliant, guess what, NEITHER ARE WE!  So, now Guatemala is mad.  They are saying ok.  We will be come Hague Complaint by the end of the year.  However, once that happens adoptions either pending or new will NOT be allowed to continue to the United States because you are now the ones not Hague Compliant - and that is against the new law!
What????  We sit here on our thrown shaking our big ass finger at them.  Telling them what they have to do when we ourselves have not complied with legislation we also signed into back in 2003!?  Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!
There are so many more details of all this I could go into, and on another ranting post I will.  The moral of all this.  We NEED to try really hard to complete this adoption in the next 3 months.  Is it possible?  YES!  Can our attorney do it who seems to work in turtle mode?  I DON’T KNOW.  Had we not wasted those months, we would probably be done by now.
All I can say is our government had better fight for all of us.  First and foremost they better fight to bring these children that are in progress home!  Because even if we had our son home, there are thousands of other kids over there who need to come home.  After all, as of today our own government continues to accept I600 applications and the fees to apply to adopt from Guatemala - and they then issue I171-H’s which is approval to go forward with an adoption from Guatemala!  Is this insane?  The same people from our country who are telling us our kids now may not have a chance to come home IF our adoptions are not finished by the end of the year, still continue to issue approvals to people to go forward with new adoptions?
We are so close to being done.  If I can just keep our attorney moving!  But I feel bad because it isn’t just us…  I have many friends caught in this with me.  Sonja with her daughter Kayla, Terri with her Abbie and Isaiah, Michelle with Lexie, Anna with Libby, and the list can go on!  These families love these children so much.  These children ARE their children.  It isn’t fair.  It is just so incredibly sad that our governments have to play tug-of-war with our hearts, and our lives.  As much as I pray that we ourselves get done, I feel guilty.  I feel guilty because Sonja, Terri, Michelle, Anna, and the other moms are right behind me.  It isn’t fair to these moms.  They deserve their children too.  This post is getting long, but this has been our life.  Consumed with only wanting another child.  But our boy is worth it, and so are the other children of Guatemala!