Rylan's Journey Home

No news to report yet.  I emailed Waiting Angels to find out if they had heard from the facilitator or not.  I got a reply back that Joe had both emailed him and a left a voice message.  That was the last I heard.  I would have expected that if the facilitator got authorization to do the test he would have faxed them the approval sheet asap!  Since that didn't happen, I makes me wonder if the facilitator went at all again.  Never can tell....  So, we wait yet another day.  The thing that stinks is that the United States Embassy (where he has to get the authorization from) is closed Fridays and doesn't take appointments.  So if it didn't happen yesterday, we have to wait until next week again.  Yes, yes, our governement in action there. 

I just wonder sometimes what Rylan is doing.  Has he got any teeth?  Cameron was really late teething.  In fact I had almost started to wonder if he would get any!  Is he standing by furniture?  Is he sleeping through the night?  Is he being picked up when he crys?  Is he eating enough?  Sometimes I even feel bad because I intentionally have to put him out of my mind, or I'll drive myself crazy.

Please keep Rylan in your prayers for us....  First and foremost above anything I all I pray that he is with a foster family who is loving him like their own child!  I wish I could see his smile and hear his laugh!  It would make me feel SO much better.....

John, Karla, Cameron, and Rylan

Waiting isn't one of my strong points. This entire process I swear has added yet more years on my life! We received word today from our agency that the faciliator has yet again not got our file to the US Embassy for the DNA Authorization we need! Again, I am told tomorrow it will happen.  Anyone feel like making a trip to Guatemala with me to apply for a secretarial position with our attorney or facilator? Guaranteed I could get some action when put in that office!  Just so frustrating to know that our file is sitting right in front of them but yet they can't seem to get it to a window at the Embassy!!!!

This poem about sums up my life it seems when it comes to having children, and the roller coaster ride of adoption! Struggling with infertility and losing all the little embryo babies we had created was devastating.  I couldn't understand why it didn't work!  I was so hurt and angry.  The only thing that kept me going was that there was a reason for it all....  All I had to do was "Wait" to find out the answer why it didn't work.  Why did we struggle for so many years with undiagnosed infertility!?  We now know why, their names are Cameron and Rylan, and they were worth the Wait!  We'll wait as long as we need to if that is what it takes to bring Rylan home!

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried; Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate....And the Master so gently said, "Wait"

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.  "Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"

"My future and all to which I relate hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?" 

"I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign, or even a 'no' to which I can resign."

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe, we need but to ask and we shall receive."

"And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:  I'm weary of asking I need a reply!"

Then quiety, softly, I learned of my fate, as my Master replied again, "Wait"

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut, and grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine.....and he tenderly said "I could give you a sign."

"I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.  I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run."

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.  You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me."

"You'd not know the depth of my love for each Saint.  You'd now know the power that I give to the faint."

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;  You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there." 

"You'd not know the joy of resting in Me, when darkness and silence are all you can see."

"You'd never experience the fullness of love, when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove."

"You would know that I give, and I save, for a start, but you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart."

"The glow of my comfort late into the night, the faith that I give when you walk without sight."

The depth that's beyonD getting just what you ask, from an infinite God who makes what you have last."

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee, what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee."

"Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true, but oh the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see, that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me."

"And though oft My answers seem terribly late, My most precious answer of all is still....Wait."

Sunday morning and you know what is sad about it....that I can never wait until Monday comes!  This is insane I know.  The reason for it is that when it is the weekend, that means nothing can happen with the adoption.  It just means we are stalled until Monday when business can resume as usual in Guatemala.  Crazy, it's like I want to cherish the weekends because the work weeks get so busy, but yet I can't help feeling like "when is Monday going to be here"!?

We did receive an email from Simone over the weekend.  She told the the faciliator in Guatemala emailed her and told her that he went to the US Embassy Thursday with our file but was turned away.  Just to insert a note here, the previous email that was sent to me by our agency said they were at he Embassy on Wednesday.....  Like I said, sometimes I think they just tell you what you want to hear!!!!  Anyway, our file was apparently turned away because of some document error that needed to be corrected with the birth mom.  He told our agency that he was going back Mon or Tues.  Now I know enough about this process to know that IF our file was presented the Embassy looks through the entire folder.  Everything is scrutinized and if there are any errors, they are pointed out all at once.  So when you come back, the file should be perfect!  No more excuses now.

I do know that Simone from Waiting Angels had been emailing the facilator every day last week, as she was forwarding me her emails with the facilitators responses.  To be fair, it is out of her hands now.  The Guatemalan side needs to take responsibility from here on out as it is in their hands.  She just oversees it all and works as the go between with us and them.

So, now we wait again and hope authorization to take the DNA will come next week, and that the test can be performed quickly.  This is not uncommon, so that makes me feel a bit better.  Doesn't mean it is acceptable.  The files of all the waiting children sit on the desk of these people in Guatemala until they get good and ready to move them!  I just think there are so many of them they get overwhelmed.  Until they pushed from the agency, they take their time.

I will post when I know more.  Until then, keep Rylan in your prayers.  I pray everyday that he is getting all the love and care that he needs until we can get him home!

Happy Friday everyone!  Not much new to post.  Just wanted to let those that do read this know we have not received DNA Authorization yet.  I was told on Monday the facilitator was in line at the US Embassy but didn't get a number to be seen at the window.  Wed was the last email I got from our agency that told us they were trying again that day.  I haven't heard a world since.  I'm trying not to be a neurotic pain in the wazzooo, but come on....it's Friday already!  What did I say in an earlier post about dates being thrown out just to quiet us!?  I was so right on that.

I did break down and email the agency yesterday but have not got a response back yet.  They normally respond almost immediately after you email them....unless they don't have an answer!  So we play the waiting game yet.  That last thing I want to do is anger the agency, so I am trying to be calm...anyone who knows me knows that isn't easy!

So our big preschool registration with Cameron is today!  I'm pretty excited about it because I know he will LOVE it.  He just loves being around other kids and really does well with the 3 hrs a week he goes now.  Big changes ahead for Cameron!  This morning on my way to work I was thinking about what it will (and better be!) like this fall with 2 kids.  I get up at 5:15am for work now!  I'll be packing kids to sleep in the car as a time saver once I have 2 to get ready in the morning ; )  Maybe daddy will just have to start a little later from now on to help out a bit with this.  Thank goodness for maternity leave!  It will allow us some time to get adjusted.  Poor Rylan is in for a wild ride.....

Have a fantastic weekend everyone.  We are looking foward to going to my Goddaughter Makayla's Roller Skating Birthday tomorrow!  She turns 8 yrs old and Cameron just loves her (as do the rest of us)!  I haven't been on skates in years and Cameron has never roller skated....so we should look like two professionals out there!!! 

I just want to start out this morning's blog by wishing my friend Jennifer an safe surgery this morning.  She is undergoing Gastric Bypass Surgery....for any of you with an experience related to that, you know that isn't and easy decision, and for her most especially.  We are all cheering her on!  Hope you feel better soon Jen!

I haven't heard a word since my last post concerning Rylan.  DNA Authorization should have happened yesterday...but you can never depend entirely on the word of most Attorneys in Guatemala.  They are known for telling you what you want to hear...and not following through.  Our own agency told us that sometimes they just "throw" dates out to quiet people.  I hope that wasn't the case with us!  I wil post as soon as I know more.

This morning, like every Tuesday morning, I took Cameron to preschool.  He is in the pre3 class and goes from 8:30 - 11:30 each week.  He could have went Thursdays too, but it is just too much for me to do in regards to running back and forth with work.  Since I typically start work at 7am every day, my employer is good enought to let me come in late each Tuesday morning so I can drop him at school.....and then take a long lunch to go pick him up and bring him to daycare.  It works out great and I enjoy doing it.  Cameron loves school, so I have no doubt he will love his official preschool next fall.  He will go 2 full days each week!  Gosh, where does the time go!?  He is just 2 weeks away from turning 4 and I can still remember every detail of those days leading up to his birth mom's due date!

Today while at school there was another mom there dropping off her little girl who is in Cameron's class (I believe she has older kids at school too).  The teacher and others in the hallway were all hugging her and congratulating her as she is having another baby.  All of a sudden I felt something I hadn't in a long, long time.  Jealousy.  I don't know where it came from.  I resolved a long time ago to the fact that I would never get pregnant....and I became ok with that.  I had to make peace with it.  I am very happy with building my family through adoption.  After all, if I hadn't, I wouldn't have Cameron....and we wouldn't have Rylan waiting for us either!  What I do miss is the part where you just decide you want to add another child to your  family.....and it happens.  You can have 1 child or 10 children.  The ways in which you dream about how your going to tell people!  I also was a little jealous of the fact that when the teacher knew we were adopting another child she didn't seem as excited.  In fact it was kind of odd....none of the parents really knew what to say.  It reminded me of the scene in the move Footloose.  You know the part at the very end where they end up having the dance!  But the walls are lined up with all the students looking nervous, uneasy, shy, and just uncomfortable (that is until Kevin Bacon comes in too shake things up!).  That is how I felt in that room about a month ago when telling the teacher who Rylan was, and why Cameron was talking about him.  Just not quite the reaction I expected.  Maybe none of them have experience with adoption?  It was just akward I guess.  Maybe when I come with Rylan in tow...it will be different?  Who knows.

Have a great day everyone.  I hope to post more later today or tomorrow.

Karla

Here is the latest news.  I was told minutes ago that the Family Court interview did happen Tuesday - Wooohooo!  That is fantastic.  A huge milestone really!  It is also a scary part because birth mom probably has tried to forget out Rylan these last 8 months.  Now she was forced to dig up the past, and in some cases, even have to see him.  

Now we wait for "Pre-Approval" to come from Family Court.  Possibly in 30 days or so.  That is what we need to enter the last phase of this adoption.

As far as DNA goes, this I was told would happen Monday.  This is harder on birth mom.  She actually has to hold her baby for a photo to go with the lab work.  I can't even imagine her pain.  We really need to see this get done next so we can be done when the "Pre-Approval" comes from Family Court as mentioned above. 

Please God, please!!!!!!!!!!  Let this go quickly!

So that is it for now.  I can't wait until 4:30 as I am meeting some friends after work.  I plan to DE-STRESS myself, big-time!

My heart is just in pieces today.  I am so torn about this entire process.  I thought by now we would be closer than this to having Rylan home.  We have have not much news to report on the adoption.  I found out Monday by emailing the US Embassy in Guatemala that we have not had DNA Authorization yet.  I thought the attorney needed to submit some papers and then wait a few days to get the ok to go forward with the DNA Testing.  Not the case.  I found out from the Embassy that the attorney needs to wait in a very long long to sumbit the papers to a person behind a window.  If everything is in order, we get immediate DNA Authorization....if everything is not in order, then they tell him what is missing and he is sent away to fix it.  As of right now, we have no idea if he has even tried to get authorization.  Talk about frustrating!  I know the US Embassy only sees 40 attorneys per day and they can only submit up to 4 new cases each (silly rule).  If the line is too long by the time he gets there....to bad they say.  Come back.  That is OUR government in action as this has nothing to do with the Guatemalan side of things.

So, Family Court Interview was supposed to happen Tuesday.  I got scolded by our agency Monday after I told them I contacted the US Embassy they had no record of us for DNA Authorization.  Their reply was "we know that".  They were not happy that I emailed the Embassy as they have a strict "no contact" policy when it comes to us contacting anyone.  Hmmmmm, my wheels are turning there!  Anyway, they told me they would contact me when they knew something Tuesday.  I didn't hear from them Tuesday.  I didn't hear from them Wednesday.  I emailed our agency mid morning Wednesday as I couldn't stand it anymore.  No reply.  Here it is Thursday.  I am completely disgusted.  I am so angry.  I keep seeing Rylan's little face and pleading eyes thinking, things should NOT be this hard.  No one should have to go through this.  To bring a child that needs a loving home together with parents who already love him so much....this is just wrong. 

I am on the Adoption Advisory Board in La Crosse that is founded by adoptive moms, waiting moms, and Lutheran Social Services Staff.  We try to bring awareness about adoption through fundraisers, advertisement and hopefully soon...speaking engagments, etc.  Since Cameron's adoption I have always had a passion for adoption.  It really opened my eyes to the process and how two families can come together all for the well-being of the child.  I then also started volunteering at Birthright in Winona because of that.....and because I have always been Pro-Life and believe in helping these young ladies as best I can.  I feel the advocate side of me coming out.  My mom said yesterday....maybe you've found your calling.  She's right.  I can feel it coming on!

I will continue to keep everyone up to date.  Thanks again for all the emails and the generous amount of emotional support!  We need it and we need your prayers, please!

Well, most of my weekend was spent trying to push out of my mind the Family Court Interview that is supposed to happen with our birth mom tomorrow.  Overall, I am pretty impressed with myself and not stressing too much!  A huge thanks to our friends Sonja and Sean for helping with that.  I met Sonja through our homestudy agency, Lutheran Social Services.  We are on the Adoption Advisory Board together and have become good friends.  Like us, they had been in the domestic newborn program (wanting an adoption like Cameron's).  After talking about our experiences with each other, we all decided to switch to the International program!!!!!  They are in the process of adopting a gorgeous little girl they named Kayla.  Our timelines are very similar in regards to the process...and our babies are very close in age.  We met Sean and Sonja Saturday night for supper at the Blackhorse (John and Sean meeting for the first time).  We had a great time with them!  John and Sean are a lot alike....both quiet....Sonja and I didn't have much of a problem with converstaion though ; )     Anyway who know me knows I can hold a good conversation with myself!  We did have lots to talk about, and it was SO nice!   We look forward to seeing them more and hopefully having our kids get to know one another in the future.  It is important to all of us that Rylan and Kayla know other adopted children....and in our cases, other children from the same birth country.  Thanks you to you both for a nice time out - next time, Wason's for supper!  After that, maybe Chuck E Cheeses with the kids!

We need 2 things to enter the FINAL step of this adoption -

1.  Pre-Approval - If the Family Court Social Worker gets this interview done tomorrow, they will have what they need to give pre-approval to our adoption!!!!  The Social Worker will meet with birth mom and then meet our baby.  She will assemble a report in the next couple weeks and when it is done, the pre-approval will be issued.  This is from the Guatemalan Court.

2.  DNA - This is a step that was implemented to prevent baby traffficing by the United States.  This requirement comes from the US Embassy IN Guatemala.  It proves that the birth mother is the person consenting to the adoption.  They do a DNA test done between mother and child in order to proceed with an adoption.   Right now, we are waiting for authorization to do it from our own SLOW government in Guatemala!!!!!

So in order to enter PGN, those are the two steps we need done asap. 

I just emailed our agency and they said authorization has not been granted yet.....they are checking on it again today.  My worry is that if we don't have authorization the the birth mom won't show up tomorrow for her interview appt.  They like both done at the same time so it is easier for her.  Most have a very difficult time traveling in for appts.  Either transporation is an issue and also they can not afford to miss work.  So, it's a matter of waiting to see what happens.

President Bush is in Guatemala today for a visit which is shutting nearly everything down there (including the Embassy where we need the authorization issued for DNA).  For that reason, I'm not optimistic anything will happen today.  Adoption is on the agenda Presidential discussions.  I hope good things happen from that......  Not to be selfish, but I also hope President Bush is on his way out for Guatemalan City tonight so we can get back business!

There are not many times in my life when I truly am speechless, but this is one of them.  The outpouring of support to our family has been overwhelming.  The emails that I get daily are so comforting.....  The financial support with the various fundraisers we have been doing was such a huge success.  You truly have no idea how much help this has been. 

When we adopted Cameron we really didn't think we would be doing it again.  Financially it was so straining and emotionally I had about all I could take.  Well, after we built the house and time went on my motherly instincts went into overdrive.  I really wanted another child.  John and I talked about it and decided to get back into the domestic program to adopt a newborn infant (in the US) like we did Cameron.   Here has been our ongoing time line during this process to where we are today;

1/05 - We contacted Lutheran Social Services and told them that we wanted baby #2!!!!!

2/05 - We completed our Homestudy through LSS giving them all information needed to become "paperwork ready".  Insurance letters, employment letters, updated medical reports for all 3 of us, blood tests, financial records, even poor Lucy the dog had to report her vacination records from the vet!  We put together a portfolio of our family that consisted of many, many pictures.  Just like a scrapbook, which took me weeks!

3/05 - We had to attend a 2 day class on adoption in La Crosse as part of a requirment.

6/05 - We are in the book and officially ready and waiting to be picked by a birth mom!

9/06 - Ok, we've waited long enough.  It has been nearly 1 1/2 years with hardly any lookers at our port.  We've decided that International Adoption may be a option we have to consider.  I do lots and lots of research on countries to adoption from....and lots of praying on whether we are doing the right thing!

10/06 - Enough research.  Let's go for it.  Guatemala is right for us!  Financially, this is about $10,000.00 more than we expected but we are willing to accept that, if that is what it takes.

10/20/06 - We signed on with Waiting Angels Adoption Agency out of Macomb, Michigan.  We accepted the referral of a little boy who is just over 3 months old.

11/1/07 - Start frantically assembling MORE paperwork to become "paperwork ready".  Here is the list of what we had to do to compile our Dossier (a huge file of documents needed).  Get updated medical checks - again for all 3 of us, get employment statements, financial statements, fingerprinted in Alma for local checks and for the FBI in Virginia, get 3 reference letters, get 3 witness statements, get a plan in place for care of the child in case we die, name affidavits (a compilation of every single way our names are used in all the documents-so silly!), our birth certificates, marriage license, updated Homestudy, Federal/State tax copies, passports.....shall I go on!  Not that all this wasn't bad enough but all these documents had to be signed by us or others in FRONT of a notary.  We had a parade of people up at the ALMA courthouse like you wouldn't beleive.  Once that was done, we had to sent all these documents to the State of Wisconsin.  There we had to pay $10.00 per document so they could attach a sheet of paper saying "YES" the notary who signed them was indeed a notary of the state.  Isn't that what the notary stamp is for?  Anyway, once we got back 35 pages of documents, they had to be sent to the Cosulate of Guatemala in Chicago.  There someone looks at them again and is paid $10.00 a document to seal them.  Basically saying...yes, there is a document and yes, it has a certificate from the State of Wisconsin attached to it.  So ridiculous. 

12/1/06 - Last but not least while all the above is happening John and I have to go to St. Paul to be fingerprinted (again) but this time by our Federal Government.  This is so we can get clearance from them to bring an orphaned child into our country.  Talk about intimidation.  Took us hours of driving for a 5 minute appt.  Then 49 LONG days of waiting, 10 emails later, and a scheduled appt to meet with them if they didn't get me the darn approval....to finally get the ok'd letter!  We were clear.

1/18/07 - Finally the letter comes for the above fingerprinting process.  We are now submitting this to Waiting Angels, and our dossier is off to Guatemala!

1/26/07 - Dossier received in Guatemala and taken to be translated into Spanish.  Our Power of Attorney (POA) is registered giving the attorney there the right to act on our behalf.

2/12 - 2/16 - We are told we have been submitted to Family Court to have a social worker assigned to the case....the US Embassy to have DNA authorization.

3/7/07 - Birth mother interview is supposed to take place next Tuesday!!!!  Yeah, I am so excited!!!!!  Just got word on that today.  They are hoping to get DNA Authorization by Monday so that can be done Tuesday as well.  They don't like to inconvienence the birth mom by making her come back to many times.  Let's pray we get authorization and it can all be done on one day!  I'll keep you posted.

We have been technically trying to adopt now for over 2 years.  As my grandma said with Cameron.....this is the longest "pregnancy" in history!