Rylan's Journey Home

Ok, so no one has bothered to respond from any Federal level to my Pre-Visa Approval plea.  I didn't expect them to jump right on it, but I was hoping to get at least an email back.  We'll see what happens next week.

I've been watching the chat boards and forums and it seems like people with DNA submitted to the US Embassy around May 1-7 are getting pre-approvals now!!!  I was on May 23, we we could just be 20 calendar days away!  Providing there is no investigation of any sort to hold it up.   I feel positive, and I will continue to think positive.  I may be feeling that way because we have good news to share about other families using the same agency as us!  Three families have exited PGN (the last step to the adoptions) and were issued there PINK slips to come pick up there babies mid July!!!!  These families are the first ones to bring home their children since our agency fell apart on us.  This is very, every encouraging news that has all of us with the same agency EXTREMELY happy!  We were scared to death with everything we were being told just a month ago.  We had been warned that none of us may bring our children home because of the trouble with our agency.  Talk about sick to your stomach and filled with fear.

Goes to show you what very determined mama's can do!!!!  I personally met one couple and their baby while in Guatemala.  They are fantastic people and their daughter is so adorable!  Truly, we all feel like this is a miracle.  We expect many more of these miracles to come.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Yesterday I got desperate, just one of those days.  I typed up a brief letter explaining my situation and emailed it to every State of Wisconsin Representative I could think of!  We are waiting our average time for pre-approval, but I don't want to take any chances that this wait could run longer than average.  In my opinion we've waited long enough.  Most of it has been on the US side!  We had to wait nearly 4 months just to get USCIS approval to adopt abroad, which delayed our case getting started in Guatemala!

So, I emailed Ron Kind, Jim Doyle, Kathleen Vinehout, Barbara Gonemus and ALL associated staff of theirs (courtesy of a website I found plump full of email address's)!!!!!  Let's see what my tax dollars can do for me now, as I know I pay enough of them! 

I have to say when I got home last night I had already heard from one office via email and voice message that this was more of a Federal issue.  I was told that my concern was already forwarded to Ron Kind's office.  I thought it was nice of them to call and tell me that - little do they know I had already pounced on Ron Kind's office!  They also said if I don't get a response to call them back and they will help me as best they can, even if it isn't their jurisdiction!  Very nice!

So we wait.  And wait.  And wait some more until someone can help me!  I am SO sick of waiting!!!!!  Come on good ole US, give me my Visa Pre-Approval so I can get into PGN!!!!!!!  PLEASE!!!!!!

First let me start the post by saying we have no news yet on pre-approval from the US Embassy!  We are still waiting.  Counting from the day the results were logged in to right through the weekends it is 34 days.  Minus a few for the weekends.  The average wait was once 30 days, but the Embassy is now advising 60 days on average.  We'll keep everyone posted.

In the meantime I thought I'd share a couple photos of the 4yr old who is keeping us more than busy these days.  Our son Cameron is seriously addicted to anything that can make him dirty!  If there is dirt, he'll find it.  If your not looking, he'll quickly find a way to make it mud!  As you can tell I'm not the kind of mother who worries about a mess....a hose down can take care of this quickly enough (as long as he doesn't run into the house to get the dog a treat like I caught him doing!)!!!!

See the album labeled "Happy as a Pig in Mud" on the right side of the blog!  I also added a couple more pictures of Rylan with Kayla and Libby when we were in Guatemala.  These pics came off a disposable camera I had that I just developed!  Those are under the album labeled "Guatemala Trip".

First of all I need to start out this post by saying thank you to Terri.  You are one amazing woman, mother, and friend!  Terri offered to do something extrodinary for me!  She has a friend/co-worker that speaks Spanish fluently.  This friend came over to Terri's house last night and they called me on my cell phone.  While I was on the cell phone, they used Terri's home phone to call my foster mom!  I was so nervous that I thought I was going to have a heart attach.  Seriously, my heart was pounding.  I listened intensely as Terri's friend made contact!!!!!  I had given them a short list of questions I wanted them to ask, along with a statement about how much I missed Rylan and how much we love him!  Here is what the conversation consisted of;

We were able to find out that Rylans foster mom is a school teacher!  She is not married (divorced/widowed/never married, not sure), but she has a 16 year old daughter.  The daughter watches Rylan while the mother works during the day.  Because education is not free in Guatemala, we assume that maybe foster mom home schools her daughter?  Anyway, we found out they live on the outskirts of Guatemala City.  Rylan had a doctor appointment last month and checked out in perfect health.  Right on target for height and weight.  He is scooting around in a walker now.  I had asked if she needed anything for herself or Rylan.  She said she loved the Huggies Wipes and baby Cereal I left as they were better than what she could get and that Rylan could use some new bottles and shoes.  That was it!  I asked her what size clothes her daughter takes and she said a small.  Foster mom asked for nothing for herself.  So I will start a package to send to them asap of course including something for each of them!  She relayed the message to me that she loves him very much, and that meant so much to me!  Foster mom liked to talk a lot (we would get along great) if we could speak the same language!

I had planned on sending a package to Guatemala with the supplies they need but Terri offered to take it for me on her visit trip in a couple weeks!  So I will get it packed and sent to her asap.  We'll make arrangements for foster mom  to meet Terri at the Marriott to pick it up! 

When I was on my visit I also left two disposable camera's for the foster family.  I am thrilled to to hear from foster mom last night that she has nearly used them up!  So during the last two months that I have not seen Rylan, I will at least have pictures to capture the moments I've missed.  Foster mom will bring those to Terri to give back to me, and of course I will replenish with new camera's!

So to Terri and her friend, thank you!  For two people to do this for someone they have never even met is amazing and so generous.  Terri works during the day, has children at home she is parenting, and dealing with a lot in Guatemala too.  Her free time much like mine is limited and I recognize that she did me a huge favor!  That phone call meant a lot to me, and taking the package is icing on the cake!

So here is where we are the in process so far!

10/20/06 - Inquired to our agency about International Adoption

1/18/07 - Received Approval from the United States to adopt and orphan, and to move ahead with our plans to adopt Rylan!

1/24/07 - Dossier (paperwork) to Guatemala 

3/20/07 - File submitted to Family Court

3/29/07 - Case assigned to a Social Worker at Family Court

4/19/07 - DNA Authorization Received

4/20/07 - DNA Test Paid

5/4/07 - Social Worker Interview with birth mom and foster mom done.  Visit with baby complete.

5/16/07 - DNA Test Done!

5/23/07 - DNA Match Confirmed!

5/24/07 - DNA Match Logged into the US Embassy

6/18/07 - Family Court Pre-Approval (approximate date)

Waiting on pre-approval from the United States Embassy in Guatemala!!!!!!

So, once we get this other pre-approval, we will be entered into PGN, the very last legal step (I'll talk more about that later)!!!!!!  We need both pre-approval slips to enter.  I can't wait!  I am getting so anxious some days I can hardly stand it.  My baby turns 1 year old in 27 days and it is killing me.  I have missed so much.  I want to be with him so bad, but yet I know we can not afford it financially.  We'll see what happens.  Maybe if I start selling on Ebay again I make up for the cost of plane tickets, but then I keep thinking that we still owe the $9000.00 at the end of this adoption before we pick him up.....  Bummer.  I've had a nice extended break from Ebaying in addition to my full-time job, so it is time to get started again.  I've recovered from the burnout and feel motived to sell, sell, sell!!!!! 

Thanks everyone for following our story!  I'm amazed each day at how many people view our site!

We are going on 3 weeks of waiting for pre-approval now, so 1-4 more weeks to go hopefully.  We saw a post on www.guatadopt.com about the DOS issuing a new warning on Guatemalan Adoptions.  So much scrutiny is placed on adoptions out of this country.  Now more than ever they are investigating cases more thouroughly in addition to the all the work that is already being done by the Guatemalan Courts doing their interviews.  They are looking for anything that has been done illegally, and if they find something it could present some major issues.  So not only are they just scrutinizing in general, the could give extra attention to our case because of the issues with our agency here in the United States.

I still believe that everything will work out.  I worry, but I'm not crazy about it for some reason.  I just truly believe that this will be fine.  That our attorney is doing everything he can do be ethical and honest, and that our birth mother will cooperate with the US Embassy if she is brought in for an extra interview.

So, as much as I love the weekends, I almost can't wait for another week to start!  I try to relax and enjoy all the summer activities we have going on but also know on a weekend that nothing can get done with this adoption!  Very frustrating!!!!  Day by day, that is all I can do.

I miss Rylan SO much right now.  I was doing good right after the visit but that is starting to wear off slowly!  Maybe knowing that July 15th he turns 1 yr old is making it harder, maybe subconciously worrying about this adoption is adding to it.....heck, I really think that just being a mom to a child who resides in another country is grounds for depression, anxiety, worry, and a rollercoaster of emotions that not many can comprehend.

Today I pray for pre-approval to come from the US Embassy, and that everything will be ok.  I'll be so happy to enter PGN once that comes, the last step to this long, long adoption! 

I didn't anticipate the wait for Pre-Approval to be this hard.  My gosh, we are only about 2 weeks into waiting... We could have another 6 weeks to go!  Depends on how fast they move these days at the US Embassy.

Today is the 1st court hearing for our agency.  I will be very curious to hear how things go.  My guess is they will just formally enter a plea.  From there the judge will schedule a date to begin the trial.  I'm sure it will get drug out.

In the meantime Cameron is keeping us plenty busy.  I have to say we have quite a little character on our hands.  Everyday it is something new with him.  His new thing now is eating Tums!  He loves them.  Maybe because he sees John and I eating so many.  My stomach always feels upset but I know it is nerves.  Cameron, well he uses them for something else....  If you have a weak stomach and are offended by potty language, you better stop here!

Well my little guy is now running through the house practically wrestling us to the ground for Tums.  When we ask him why he needs them, he replies for his farts!  What?  You need them for your what?  Where he got this from I have no idea...  (as he dad stands grinning at me).  This child is one of those kids that can "do it" on demand.  I am not kidding.  You should have heard him lastnight!  One of these days he I swear I will make it to the camcorder for  blackmail video!  So here is what he did the other night.  Cameron is in OUR bedroom watching cartoons after his bath and he hollors... dad come in here!  John goes in there as we were getting ready for bed.  John says what.  Cameron says lay down by me dad.  So John does.  Cameron says, dad smell your pillow.  So what does John do, he smells it.  All the while I'm in the living room listening to this as I'm coming to bed.  John jolts out of bed and goes Cameron, did you do what I think you did?  Cameron breaks out laughing hysterically with that evil giggle!  Me (not catching all of this and really not comprehending what he did) walked in and said what is going on?  John says ask your kid.  So I do, Cameron what did you do to dads pillow?  I farted on it!  You what?  More laughing from the gassy 4 year old!  Ok, so hear comes the "its not nice to fart on people's pillows talk?"  Never in a million years did I think I would be having a conversation like this.  I literally had to bury my head in my pillow while talking to him, as I couldn't help but laugh.  Thank goodness my pillow was kept out of harms way!!!!!

More later.....

I have a monster headache today, thanks to sinus and allergies...and the hurdles this adoption has presented every now and then.  I am part of a few forum groups on-line which all have to do with Guatemalan Adoptions.  One of these groups consists of all families from our agency.  It was founded by one mom after our agency was raided and the directors were arrested and charged with tax evasion and racketeering.  I won't go into details about what is discussed on the forum, but I can tell you that it is full of ups and downs.  All of us parents are looking for hope.  Just a glimmer every now and then that we will succeed in bringing our babies home!  To see one parents good news, give the rest of us hope.  To hear anothers frustrations and worries, concerns us all.  Some of these families are in very serious situations.  I consider myself very, very lucky at this point.  Some families have been doing their adoptions for 2 years or more!  They just get stalled with missing paperwork or what have you, and they can't get it resolved.  Part of the problem lays with the people in Guatemala that our agency decided to work with.  The fears of these parents are real, and scary.  The children all caught in the middle.  It is just disgusting. 

Now we've been told by a member of the adoption community (not a family of our agency) that all our cases have been red-flagged and considered illegal by the US Embassy in Guatemala because of our association with our agency, and one of the directors who said something very stupid to an undercover reporter.  The director went on telling an under cover reporter (before his arrest) that ALL birth mothers are paid in Guatemala.  They are paid so much at each level of the adoption to ensure they complete everything required of them to finalize the paper work.  That was all it took was that one verbal, unsubstantiated comment to upset ALL our cases.

I do not consider myself a naive person at all.  I know shady things go on in the adoption world, but when I say this, I'm talking everywhere.  In no way do I believe that all birth mothers are paid for children.  This comment from our "director" was idiotic and typical based on his personality apparently.  Shooting off his very unprofessional mouth.

I don't even know if the rumored "red flags" on our cases is true or not, but I can tell you most everyone is progressing and in no way are all these cases Illegal.  No one has experienced any hold-ups because of the Embassy yet.  So worse case scenerio from what I hear to resolve the mysterious "red flag" is that they may require the attorney in Guatemala to produce how much money was charged for the adoption and maybe a final interview with birth mom.  Birth mom was through one interview with the Guatemala side, so what is one more with the US side.  Something tells me the US Embassy isn't going to waste to much time and energy on two handfuls of cases....  So we'll see.

I can't explain why, but I feel very good about this adoption.  It is like Cameron said....my grandma and grandpa are sitting on my shoulder watching over me.  I keep hearing him say that.  Where he got that from, I have no idea.  Maybe he sees something I don't?  I got to spend 4 wonderful days with a child that will forever be part of my life.  He is with a foster mother who loves him dearly.  I couldn't ask for more right now.  I can't even say I regret signing with the agency I did, or I wouldn't have Rylan in my life.  I don't regret any of it.  If this is what it takes to get him, it is worth it.  Rylan is my son and he is part of me.   I've let the thought cross my mind every now and then of what if this doesn't work.  What if I lose him?  It is unthinkable, but I still would never regret any part of this.  Without us adopting him, who knows what his life would have been like this last year.  Our adoption has provided Rylan private foster care...and I would pay it the rest of his life if I had too!  But let's just hope and pray he is home soon and this is behind us.  I pray that for all the other families stuck in the mess with me too.  With each homecoming, is hope!