Rylan's Journey Home

I recevied an email from our attorney in Guatemala yesterday confirming he has received the new family court report!  His emails seriously cause me a lot of stress do to lack of information!!!! 

I asked if he had the report.  He replied "Karla, I received the report today.  Adrian"  That is it!  So now I replied back, so when can we expect to be in PGN?  No reply yet.

I am praying that he will submit us yet this week.  There should be no reason not too!  Unless of course he finds something else that causes delay.  At this point, it wouldn't surprise me.

On a lighter note my older baby Cameron had his first day of preschool yesterday!  He did fantastic!  He will go two full days a week.  It was quite a moment walking down the hall leaving him there realizing how big he really is.  He wanted to ride the bus home, and I was really reluctant to let him do it.  He is only 4 1/2!  But his bus buddy, a very nice neighbor girl, came in the classroom while I was there to meet him.  She told me should would on the bus with him.  Another little boy in the same class as Cameron (who is a neighbor also) was riding home too.  So I said YES.  As expected Cameron did great, me, not so great.  The site of him climbing down the school bus steps about did me in!

Where does the time go?  Let's hope is slows down just a bit.

Just got a hold of Adrian at his office in Guatemala.  Here is our conversation....

Hi Adrian, this is Karla calling from the United States regarding our adoption.

Adrian - Hello Karla, how are you today?

Me - Good.  I was just wanting to check on the status of our adoption and if anything has happened this week.

Adrian - Oh, don't worry.  I go this afternoon to Court to get the new report.

Me - Ok.  It just seems like it is taking a long time.

Adrian - No, don't worry.  An error on a report can take 2 weeks to 2 months to fix.

Me - (freaking when I heard 2 months) Oh, that is a long time.

Adrian - I get the report and will present the file to the PGN on Monday or Tuesday.

Me - That's great.  I appreciate the information.  Thank you!

Adrian - Yes, don't worry.  I talk to you soon.

Me - Ok, Bye Adrian

Adrian - Bye, Bye Karla

So if nothing else "MR. DON'T WORRY" himself now knows I will call him EVERY day if I have to until we are in PGN.  The conversation was short and sweet, but I hope impacted him enough to get this done.  My instincts are normally pretty good (of course choosing my adoption agency was an exception) but I think he is telling the truth.  As I said before I have never found him to lie.  They just are slow.  I'd like to know more about the report - why was the mistake not caught earier, what is the mistake, and is it done today YES or NO.  But talking with an attorney in Guatemala is way different than here.  You need to keep sarcasm and to many questions at one time to yourself.  Unless you've been through this, that is hard to understand.  So, we wait some more. 

I have a phone call with foster mom Corelli set up for next Friday so I have that to look forward to.  Let's hope that next week is "THE WEEK"!  Full of good news and a great conversation with foster mom. 

First off, I am no legal expert but rather a mother of a Guatemalan Child trying to make sense of what is going on in that Country.  I am still gathering my facts and reading a lot of stories....so if I make an error, someone correct me!  

Guatemala is expected to become compliant with the Hague Treaty by the end of the year.  This treaty was signed by several country's some years ago so that everyone abides by the same adoption laws.  Guatemala signed the treaty but never actually become compliant with the laws.  The US has now told Guatemala either become compliant or we will no longer allow people from the US to adopt children from Guatemala after Dec 31st, 2007. 

Now the Guatemalan Congress seems to be trying to move forward with implementing some sort of system to try to become compliant, but faces resistence from the President and other legal authorities.  Because Guatemala right now provides to no support for any orphaned children, this is quite a undertaking.  As part of the Hague, no private foster care would be used.  This would mean getting orphanges up and running, staff in place, medical in place, food, other basic supplies, and also the legal components.  All the children would then be moved from foster homes, to the orphanages.  PLUS it also means budgeting money for all this...of which none has been done.  This will take a lot of time and planning.  With that said, let me go on to what is going on now.

Presidential Elections are taking place in Guatemala on Sept 9th.  Adoption or should I say Anti-Adoption Sentiment is high.  The current President Berger and his wife Wendy are Anti-Adoption.  They do not want adoptions to exist in Guatemala, yet they have nothing in place for their government to care of orphaned children.  There is NO government support for birth mothers and their children like there is here in the US.  All people of Guatemala are own their own.  No food stamps, no free milk, no assisted housing, no nothing.  They get ZERO goverment funding.  If adoptions cease, where does this leave the children of Guatemala?  What kind of poor conditions will they be made to suffer?  This may sound unbelievable to you and I, but the people of Guatemala have been believing for many years that the US adopts their children for body parts.  You heard me right, body parts.  They can't understand why we would want their children.  The only believable story they have is that we bring their children back here and "use" them to help our own...such as needing their eyes, their hearts, or whatever.

Crazy!  Life in Guatemala is very different.  People live in remote villages and in the mountains.  There are no newspapers or television.  This is a 3rd world Country.  They truly believe this.  So President Berger and his wife Wendy are exploiting this story so that they can be re-elected by shouting ANTI-ADOPTION sentiments all around Guatemala. 

Last week the Casa Quivera orphanage was raided in Antiqua, Guatemala.  There are children who live there that range from 3 days old to 4 years old - some having specific medical needs.  Most are being adopted by families through the notorial system.  Notorial system meaning that birth moms rights have been signed over to a Notary who represents all parties (Birth mom, baby, and adoptive parents).  The judicial court (judge) does not get involved unless the child is abandoned.  (this is one of the things the Hague will abolish...they want a judicial system)  Our case with Rylan currenty is under the Notorial System.  President Berger claims this is "illegal" for whatever the reason.  When in fact what he has done is illegal.  He has his people inside the orphanage and will not allow anyone to come or go.  Food supplies, baby formula and medical care is turned away.  The staff that was in the building at the time of the raid have not been allowed to leave.  They have threatened to move the children, though that has not been done yet.  Families here in the US that are adopting most of these children are beside themselves.  It has been reported that the conditions inside this orphanage are deteriorating quickly.  Sanitary conditions are becoming horribly bad.

Besides the horrible situation above, it has been reported that the police are stopping any taxi cabs with babies in them entering the hotel zone.  The police demand papers on the child in the vehicle and when documentation can't be produced, they detain them at the police station.  I can tell you the police have no interest in paperwork, what they want in order to let the foster mom and child go is money.  That's right, money!  If you can produce a couple hundred dollars, they let them go.  Now the police are exploiting this situation!

Foster moms are reportedly quitting.  They are fearful of being associated with adoptions and moving away with their  families.  Adoptive families who are living in Antiqua or Guatemala City fostering their own children while waiting for the adoptions to be finalized are being told to "stay under house arrest".  Meaning under no circumstances unless an emergency are they to take the children out of the home.  

Most believe that after the Sept 9th election things will calm down.  For me, I won't calm down until Rylan is home and each of the other children belonging to other wonderufl mothers I have come to know.  It still leaves part of me terribly sad though.  There are thousands of children needing homes in Guatemala.  So many will be left behind to a life of unknowns.  Most probably dying of starvation and illness.

Besides just simply wanting our son home, this is what I think about daily.  The stories are scary, the situation is volitile.  In my next post I will explain more on how UNICEF is hurting the children of Guatemala.  An extremely disappointing situation.....

And no, we are not in PGN yet....

Furious - We still are not in PGN (the final court).  After receiving pre-approval from the United States Embassy in Guatemala on July 21st, 2007, we are still waiting.  Most cases are entered into PGN within a week or two of receiving this pre-approval.  Our facilitator/attorney insists there is a "mistake" on the Social Workers report from Family Court that needs to be fixed but is not done yet.  I do not doubt this, but what makes me furious is that I was told this report was all done in mid June.  So why did they not catch this error before now?  Why did they wait so long to proof read this report?  I appreciate the fact that they are getting it corrected so we don't have a problem down the road, but come on, this should have been done!  We are talking about a firm in Guatemala that handles hundreds of adoptions.  They should be pros by now.  I think the answer is plain and simple.  They handle too many adoptions!  There are two many cases and becaue of that families like us suffer the wait. 

Frustrated - Woud have, could have, should have isn't getting me anywhere.  I can sit and think about this all I want and it will change nothing.  My ranting and raving can do nothing.  I have no control.  I have no say so.  I have no one to complain too that can do anything.  I have no agency and I have no legal standing here in the United States.  I have NO control over this.  I am at the mercy of the Guatemalan attorney. 

Stressed - I feel my worse today.  I feel so much anger, resentment, and stress.  I feel myself missing so much with Rylan and I hate that.  I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!  I feel at my wits end.  I can't stand the not knowing when he will be home, I can't stand my heart breaking and feeling like part of me is missing, I can't stand feeling not complete lately....  I can't stand it when I have to give bad news to John. 

Deep down inside I know that I must go on.  I have no intentions on doing anything else.  I have to remind myself several times in an hour that tomorrow is another day.  Pull it together, it will all work out.  We must move forward, we must keep trying.  Pull it together.

Because I needed to use this post to vent, I will make my next one about the situation in Guatemala regarding adoptions.  The Department of Homeland Security has been issuing warnings for awhile about the "volitile" situation regarding adoptions.  Most recently things seem to be coming to a head down there.  Foster moms are quitting for fear of harm for themselves and their families, orphanages are getting raided using scary tactics, and the Guatemalan Government seems to be asserting authority in very inappropriate ways lately.  So take our situation and add all this to it, and one can understand why I am a bit "off my rocker".

***We were not submitted today to PGN, I was again told tomorrow!*** 

We've gone up the longest, steepest, most stressful mountain ever climbed.  We are at the top and can turn around to see down behind us.  We can see all the hard work that it took to get right where we are.  We take a deap breath and turn ahead to look down and we can see the end!  Down to where we need to go.  We're are ready and excited at the thought of completing this journey.  One problem, we can't move forward.  We can't start the decend because a rope is holding us back.  We are starting to loose our breath.  It feels tight, air restricted when breathing, and the thought of not getting down is overwhelming.  Our rope is ADRIAN and PGN submission!  We can go nowhere until this is done.  Do I believe it will get done - absolutely.  When - I have no idea.  But the pity party is over.  I can feel myself getting really, really pissed now.  Pardon the language, but this is getting ridiculous!  I am mad.  I am using every restraint I have to not blow up at Adrian.  After all, he does hold this adoption in HIS hands.

I believe in God and the power of prayer.  I believe in fate and the fact that the life we live is the life that was meant for us.  But I also believe you get nowhere sitting on your duff waiting for things to come to you.  What I intend on doing I have no idea, but I do know that I must use extreme caution with my choice of words when it comes to anyone in Guatemala.  I do NOT want an extremely upset Guatemalan Attorney delaying my case because my big mouth got me in trouble.  Urgggggg, why does this have to be so hard!?

Adrian emailed me yesterday.  He said there is an error on the Family Court report that needs to be fixed and it will be done on Monday.  As I've said before, there he has never lied to me yet so I have no reason not to believe him.  Although it would have been nice to find this error while we were waiting for our United States Embassy Pre-Aproval to come through so we were ready to go!!!!!  But NO, that can't happen.  Alright, I quit with the pity party already.  On the bright side, I would much rather have this error caught now than in PGN.  If we get kicked out in PGN to fix a document it will only add longer delays.  It is already Friday and Monday will be here before we know it.  We all know how fast the weekends go.

Let's pray for Monday.  Pray that they can pick up the new report and get us into PGN.  It is time for us to enter the final stage of this adoption, and to bring this child home where he belongs.

Well, nothing new to report on the adoption.  I never got an email reply from Adrian, but I know we didn't get into PGN yesterday because a phone call was made to verify it.  I tried to call him already this morning (8am their time) and got no answer at any of the phone numbers I have.  I don't think they start work until 9am anyway, but I thought I would check.  I did send him an email...again.  All I can do is keep trying.  Let's just hope after waiting 2 1/2 weeks for him tp submit us that our file is immaculate and perfect for PGN to prevent any kickouts now!

I found a document the other day when going through some paperwork.  It was dated November 22, 2004.  The letter was congratulating us on entering the domestic adoption program for our 2nd child.  That date is when we officially started trying to bring another child into our family.  So in 3 months it will be 3 years.  Three long, long years of waiting in that domestic program with no luck, switching to the international program after finding Rylan, and then bringing us where we are today.  It has been a long journey.  A journey of which a day doesn't go by that I don't think of it in some way.  Every single day has been getting worse for me.  The anticipation of having Rylan home is overwhelming sometimes.  I try so hard to hold it in, this really being my main outlet for talking about it in depth.  I hang on to the 4 days I spent with this precious and gorgeous child.  Those big dark eyes and that huge smile almost haunts me at times.  Those little legs kicking constantly, the way he would lean his head into mine to show affection, his smell, and his breath on my neck when he was sleeping....all daily reminders of what I am missing right now.  This very moment, right now, he is waking up to someone else.  Each day growing older and more in love with the only mom and he knows.  I feel so sad about that.  The only way to keep from getting so depressed and stressed out about it is to remind myself of what I do have.  To quit feeling sorry for myself.  But once in awhile you just have to feel it, no matter how hard you try not to.

I know that I am not alone.  I know that our entire family and all our friends feel some of this too.  I know there are other families out there who know exactly how I feel, and how John feels.  Whether adopting in the US, China, Russia, Guatemala, Ukraine, wherever....  there are thousands of families going through this each day.  And you know what, there are worse places to be than right where all of us are.  There are more more terrible things going on in the world than this.  Sometimes I just need to vent though.  Let it out.  So here is hoping that today can now get better!  I woke to pouring rain, and now the sun is coming out.  Its a new day for all of us! 

We had a nice weekend, hope all of you did too!  Friday we went to the Buffalo County Fair in Mondovi, WI.  John parents, his sister, and our nephew went with.  We had a lot of fun!  I can't wait to see some of the pictures Carol took!  Cameron had his grandpa on the ferris wheel, the bumper cars, and those huge slides!  Not sure how grandpa was feeling the next morning but he made on little boy really happy!  We topped off the night with milk shakes from the FFA stand.  Yummy! 

On Saturday our translator (Joyce) met John and I at my parents house.  Joyce and my parents live in the same city, so we thought that would be easier for her to go there than to attempt to find out house!  I was so excited that I was doing all I could to keep from pacing the floor.  We had called Corelli before, but this time I would be right next to the phone and John and my parents could hear the conversation too!  I turned on the cartoons for Cameron and we dialed the phone number.  She answered!  It was so exciting to hear her voice.  The call went really well.  She said Rylan needed nothing as he was doing great!  He is off formula now and on whole milk.  She said she had plenty of diapers and wipes left.  She stressed several times that "no clothes" were needed.  Apparently that full suitcase I left back in May helped ; )

He did have mild fever the day before (Friday).  She said nothing to worry about though.  He has 3 teeth through and another coming, so the poor baby is getting hit all at once this past week.  That sounds just like Cameron!  She said he loves the little Care Bear I sent him for his birthday.  He also loves scooting in the walker.  I know he is a spunky little boy so when he does start walking, they will have their hands full!

We began to end the phone call.  Corelli said that she would give him a big hug and kiss and tell him it that it was from his mom and dad who love him.  Joyce then told her that I was going to say something in Spanish that she was going to help me with.  Joyce handed me the phone.  I said "Hola Corelli" (that much I knew on my own).  Joyce then had me say a phrase.  I had no clue what I was saying, but at the end Corelli said "Gracias", so I knew she was thanking me.   Joyce told me that I said "thank you for watching over my son, you are a blessing from God".  When Joyce got back on the phone with Corelli she said to tell us "that she sends us many blessings from God and thank you for loving this child".  It was just an amazing moment.  We ended the phone call with setting up another date and time to call which will be Aug 31st at 10:00am our time.  I can't wait!

Sunday I went shopping with Patty, who is my shopping soul mate!  Man, we can go for hours and hours.  I LOVE it!  We don't even have to buy anything.  Patty and I have known each other since pre-school, or earlier than that even.  We lived on the same small city block and have grown up together.  I'm 33 years old and I can't remember not knowing her.  So we went down to Wisconsin Dells shopping at and Outlet Mall leaving about 8:30am.  I am on an extremely limited budget these days, but I went with the intentions on getting Cameron some school clothes.  I did just that at the Carter's Store.  Two shirts and four pairs of really nice jeans for $47.00.  I love that outlet mall!  It was nice therapy for me too.  I felt the stress melt away and if you know Patty, you NEVER stop laughing.  On our way back we stopped at Tomah, WI to eat (thanks Patty!) and made our way home about 7pm.  I got home and John had given Cameron his his bath already!  Man, another nice surprise!  It was a GREAT day!!!

On the adoption front news we were finally told by Adrian that we are to be submitted to the final court tomorrow!  Corelli confirmed in our phone call that Adrian had been in contact with them this past week too.  They took Rylan's fingerprints and did a medical check, so that was a relief!  Corelli said the attorney told her I pray that tomorrow happens.  I can't wait to get my baby boy home.   

I'm getting close to the point of no return!  I so badly want in to PGN.  I've not heard from Adrian since Tuesday when he said our pre-approval slip was picked up.  I sent him a reply that day asking when he would get us submitted to PGN...then Wed, Thurs, and today I sent him an email also.  Nothing.  This guy is going to put me in the nut house!  I'm not worried there is anything wrong, I just think his atttitude is he'll get to it.  Again, he NEVER emails unless he has the task at hand done.  No worries, be happy..right!  Wrong!!!!!  I have his phone numbers with me and am thinking about calling him.  Who knows, maybe he is out of the office too. 

We received official word that there is going to be yet another step added to the adoption process.  It will be a 2nd DNA test on the child.  This test will be done once you exit PGN, but before you are submitted for pink.  So hopefully it will be done while waiting for the new birth certificate to come through.  The birth mother is not needed to complete this test, thank God!  They are just testing the new DNA taken against the original DNA taken to make sure the baby wasn't switched at some point during the adoption.  With Guatemalan Adoptions being heavily scrutinized they are hoping this will prevent kidnapping and baby switching.  I guess I really don't care.  I know my son and would not be bringing home another baby regardless, so go for it I guess.  A little added cost of a couple hundred dollars which is a drop in the bucket compared to the outrageous fees we are already required to pay.

Once we exit PGN they submit for a new birth certificate which takes a couple weeks to get back, so the test can be done then.  Once they have everything we are submitted to the US Embassy for our "pink" slip to finalize and pick up Rylan.  So as long as it doesn't hold me up, I'm ok with this.

Right now I am more focused on the issue at hand, that would be getting close to flying down to Guatemala and taking the file to PGN myself!  I keep telling myself I would give him 2 weeks, I knew that reasonable.  Well, 2 weeks is up today buddy, so look out come Monday!

I hope that you'll continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we wait.  A special congratulations to Sonja and Michelle who just got the DNA Authorization and the tests completed on their baby girls!  Continue to keep my friend Terri in your thoughts as she waits for pre-approval on her son, and some answers on the adoption of her baby girl.  To Anna, keep the faith that you are next!  You have waited patiently.....way more patiently than I could ever be.

Still no word from Adrian if he submitted us to PGN yesterday or today.  I know, I know.... I gave him two weeks and it's only been 1 1/2.  I can't help but to email him daily though!  I'm screaming to get in to PGN, then all of a sudden I'll be screaming to get out!  That is the way it goes.

Finally this morning our translator was able to get a hold of Corelli!  Corelli left a message on her answering machine with her work number because their home phone is not working.  The message stated that "if this was the baby's mom calling please call the following number....."  So the translator then called the number and it was for the school where Corelli teaches.  The receptionist asked who was calling for Corelli and the translator said the call was from the United States.  The receptionist got very excited and ran to get her!  Corelli came to the phone very relieved that we called, but wondering who the woman was on the other end.  Joyce, the translator, explained that we knew each other and that she would be talking for me.  Corelli was very happy about that.  So we have an appointment to make a phone call together this Saturday.  Corelli wanted to get in a few things for me.  She said on Sunday they are having a party with a pinata!  She said she would take pictures for me.  She also said Rylan has two teeth on the bottom now and one coming through on the top.  He also took a couple steps yesterday!  I was very emotional after hearing all this.  It sometimes just feels like I am missing everything!  It is so hard.  I just have to remind myself that I am very, very lucky....because I am!  We will have a lifetime of other firsts and I have Corelli to fill me in on some of the ones that I am not there for.

Most people have heard about the bridge that collapsed during rush hour traffic on a busy interstate in Minneapolis yesterday.  John and I were just up there in the area over the weekend.  Although I feel extremely lucky to not have been involved in this traggic event, I pray for those who were - and their families.